90 days

Today I am 90 days clean, which is great but more difficult for me than 30 or 60 days. I feel like a deserve to party to celebrate my goodness. Not that anyone would show up (I'll blog about my b-day later).

The loneliness is the toughest part for me, I don't get asked out much, my party friends have moved and I now I have to deal with my old social anxiety that i used to medicate with drinks. I am so shy that I don't feel comfortable talking to people when I go out. I still go to bars to kick it but spend my time reading with my diet soda. That pic is me, today, clean for 90 days, looking good. At least my vanity is keeping me clean. I look at my body and realize how healthy and beautiful it is, and how it wouldn't be this way if i was still filling it with chemicals.

48 days

Learn to ride horses.
Go to Africa for an extended adventure.
Own a dog
Shoot more guns, particularly .44s
Rock Climb
Learn to surf

I love waking up not hungover, I love that I am not still up cramming narcotics up my nose. I worked at the club last night and my favorite customer came in to see me, he mentioned that he had an ounce of blow at home and that he wished I still partied. I am so glad I don't. I used to want to stay up all night and talk about what great things I was going to do, now I wake up early and actually make steps to accomplish them. Today I am 48 days sober, it doesn't seem like much time but in the month and a half I have made bigger strides to accomplish my dreams then in the last 22 years. That list above was things that I had talked about doing for years, in the last 48 days I have started to accomplish some of them, I rode a horse for the first time, I've been shooting and I have started taking climbing lessons. Everyday I wake up and my body is strong and beautiful and ready to take on the next challenge. I have accomplished more in 48 days, spiritually and physically then I ever did in my almost 23 years. So today I am excited that it is a Saturday morning, and I am not hungover, I am not just going to bed, instead I am waking up to cook breakfast for some of my favorite people and take them on a super long hike. The kinda shit I used to plan and flake on less than two months ago.