aching

I am too young for my body to hurt like it does. My shoulders and arms have this dull thudding thing going on. It could be the workout on Friday or the rock climbing, I'm not sure. My lower back is locked up and pinched, I know that is from lap dancing in 6-inch spikes. My knees, my poor knees. I feel like a grandmother with my knees like this. My feet are just fucked. I'm only 22. It seems not that long ago the only pains in my body were from fucking, half my face would be scraped off from kissing boys with scratchy faces, my knees and neck would hurt from giving deliciously long blowjobs or sucking cunt until my jaw would lock up. And my cunt would be chaffed and raw from one finger more then i thought possible and the band at the base of the condom. I need the pain to be pleasurable again, i need it from stimulating pleasure not simulating pleasure.

48 days

Learn to ride horses.
Go to Africa for an extended adventure.
Own a dog
Shoot more guns, particularly .44s
Rock Climb
Learn to surf

I love waking up not hungover, I love that I am not still up cramming narcotics up my nose. I worked at the club last night and my favorite customer came in to see me, he mentioned that he had an ounce of blow at home and that he wished I still partied. I am so glad I don't. I used to want to stay up all night and talk about what great things I was going to do, now I wake up early and actually make steps to accomplish them. Today I am 48 days sober, it doesn't seem like much time but in the month and a half I have made bigger strides to accomplish my dreams then in the last 22 years. That list above was things that I had talked about doing for years, in the last 48 days I have started to accomplish some of them, I rode a horse for the first time, I've been shooting and I have started taking climbing lessons. Everyday I wake up and my body is strong and beautiful and ready to take on the next challenge. I have accomplished more in 48 days, spiritually and physically then I ever did in my almost 23 years. So today I am excited that it is a Saturday morning, and I am not hungover, I am not just going to bed, instead I am waking up to cook breakfast for some of my favorite people and take them on a super long hike. The kinda shit I used to plan and flake on less than two months ago.