I'm cranky....

and i don't want to post. I'm going to go curl up with Cowboy Bebop DVDs until the mean reds go away. Maybe then I'll be sorta pleasant.

Headaches suck

Yesterday I was supposed to start on the Master Cleanse but the worst Migrane of my life interupted my detox. I was litterally on the floor of the bathroom crying in pain. Nothing has ever hurt that bad. Apperantly there is not much that can be done for them except for rest and dark. This freaks me out, there is somthing that totally incapacitates me that I can't do anything to prevent. This is the 2nd time this has happened to me, I can't even remember when the last one was because I have blocked it out of my memory.

136.5

I should have posted this yesterday, oh well. So I lost a pound from last week. I don't know how, over the weekend my weight ballooned up to 142Lbs, I must have been retaining water or something. I am now on the Master Cleanse for how long I can take not eating and then I will be looking into a nutritionist. There is a rumor that American Gladiators is coming back and I may have to audition, or at least train like I am going to audition. Malachi, my business partner said he would be happy to take me to a park and throw balls at me.

While I was all fat and bloated over the weekend I shot with the incomparable Nathan Strauss and he took the shot of me being all in distress. The video that we shot is really scary, I used those 8 years of theater training I thought were going to waste. It was fun and I learned to pop the inside of a trunk with tied up toes. It was a set we had talked about doing for ages and it was great to finally make it happen.

And coming to a stage near you, eventually, is my sweet ass. I started my exotic dancing classes with www.catmovespoledancing.com and I may get a job working as a house girl to refine my skills before I go on the road. You will be the first to know where to find me grinding.

I am now selling my dirty lingerie, if you are interested in purchasing panties, bra sets, stocking or socks shoot me and email. Each item will include a personalized and autographed picture

I clean up somewhat decent

Fresh Nails and New Friends

As you can see I had my nails painted a delicious new shade, Essie's Garnet. I love getting my nails done, I never even feel like I deserve a massage, so my frequent trips to the nail salon are a well-deserved luxury.

I had an amazing day yesterday. My good friend Tatsuya was over and we had breakfast and watched one of my all time favorite movies 'Ninja Scroll", I got a little work done on the computer and we left the house to see the highly amusing 'Superbad'. I adored Michael Cera in 'Arrested Development' and he was equally as hilarious here, however I would like to see him try something different. I hope he can avoid being typecast as a socially awkward nerd. I bet he gets plenty of cunt in real life being adorable and hilarious like he is.

Speaking of actors that are too young for me, I had an awesome dream I was being wooed by Daniel Radcliff, it was awesome. Having a younger man convince me that he could handle the tiger, grrrr. I would love to be courted by Harry Potter, he's looking surprisingly hot for being, you know, Harry Potter.

Back on the subject of my awesome day, after the movie Tatsuya took me to the Scion Art Show curated by Giant Robot. Total blast, even though the music made me want to commit suicide. I ended it all with late night Mexican food and amazing artists, a woman who builds robots, a couple local designers, spectacular  and a Vice writer/Pro gambler. It really could not have been more awesome. I even colored a kids menu. This eclectic group will mostly be at the Magic Convention in Vegas and I might have to head that way and party my face off. My roommate is in Vegas this weekend and I will be going out there as soon as he gets back. Lucky bastard got sweet UFC tix real close to ringside....

I haven't forgot you

I swear, doing my first G/G kicked off a week of blur. It's Friday and I am just now getting a chance to sit in front of my computer and wade through my emails and online responsibilities.

So my G/G was great fun, Eva Angelina is a doll to work with and fucked the shit out of me. I terrorized her with a strap-on, it was hot. Look for it in December/January from Johnni Darkko for Evil Angel/Evil Empire. 2 days later I got to shoot with another hottie, a red head named Paige. We splashed around in a pool for the always adorable, even fat, Rick Shameless.

I re-arranged my room and I am now searching for a bed that doesn't suck. Any Ideas? I am looking for something modern, full sized and not too expensive.

I am so happy to be getting the home shit done, Grind has a lot of projects in the works and I need to grease those wheels.

137.5

3lbs lost, and it wasn't that hard, I even gorged at Koi last night, mochi = yum. Just did a VLOG about my first g/g. Will try to get that up later. Wish me luck!

Still in SF, but I go home later

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New Hair and SF

I'm up in SF just chillin' . I shot the pilot for Max Royal yesterday which was fun and exhausting. I forget how hard it is to stay 'on' and be the focus of attention for a few hours. This was the first paid video shoot that I have been on where I was the only model for the day. Talk about pressure. It was fun and I think I did well, all I had to do was talk about my favorite sex toys and how I liked to use them. Going to spend the day exploring the city with the super rad Max Royal, that's him sneaking up on me in the background.

Let me know what you think about the new 'do, I did it myself the night before I flew up to SF. Cutting my own hair the night before a shoot is not the smartest thing I have ever done, but it turned out super cute.

Home Safe

I came home early, and it was the best decision I made. The duty free forgot to charge for my scotch which I am taking as a good omen. Today I get my ass into gear and start back at the work. I have a bunch of emails to get to and some errands to run. I also start my fitness program in earnest. My goal is to be tight and toned for my G/G on Monday. France was making me fat. Before I get to do my G/G though, it's up to San Fransisco to shoot a pilot for a sex advice show. I love working in SF, the A Positive people always make me very welcome and it never feels like work.

This is where I am at 140.5 lbs. I'll be doing one of these every week.

Mota Mojo Recipe

yeah so....I don't really drink, but I do like refreshing, exciting beverages. So in my search for a fun, non-alcoholic beverage I came up with the Mota Mojo. At first I was pushing to call it the "Menendez", but if you order a Menendez your bartender will assume you want to have totally filthy sweaty sex for the next 2 1/2 hours and then do it again in the shower.....which is awesome and all but won't quench your desire for a tasty refreshing beverage. So I decided to call it the Mota Mojo because it tastes kinda like eating pot, has next to no calories, makes your breath smell good, and you're sober so your game stays tight.

Directions yo-

1. Fill a glass with fresh mint, limes and ice.
2. Muddle
3. Cover with sparkling water.
4. Hit on attractive, intelligent individuals, don't play games and do bang before you date. If they want to eat, take 'em to breakfast.

Kill me now.

I am so bored i could cry.  I got kicked out of my room to make room for some models, not like i had any privacy anyway. people all walkin' in and out of the bathroom while I'm showering (is that 'douching' in french?) The house I am staying, while totally awesome is in a residential area, read lawns and lameness, and there is nothing within walking distance. Oh, and no one wants to use their fluent English, so I've been having the awesome time of going to meals and watching everyone else interact. And we don't do anything, every one lays around, works on their tans and drinks all day. Talk about not my scene, I don't drink, wear a lot of sunblock and am a little bit of a workaholic. No stimulating conversation, nothing to do, no one interesting to talk to, maybe some of them are but that whole no communication thing..... I thought I brought a lot of books but they will be gone soon and i will have nothing to distract me from the ever crushing boredom and isolation. Maybe a miracle will happen and things will turn around. Maybe I will go home early.

Castles and Fireworks

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First Day Abroad

After a grueling day of travel and losing my phone I finally made it to Nice. Met up with my friends and fought jet lag tooth and nail. Fueled by caffeine and whatever else they put in energy drinks I dragged my carcass out for dinner and I even made it to the Palais in Cannes to see Miss Kitten throw down. She put on a super great show and was even able to inspire my exhausted body to throw down, just a little bit. Her Go-Go dancers were off the chain. You can still smoke inside in France (that changes in 6 months!!) and i thought my lungs were going to explode the air was so thick. Gross, still feel sticky and smelly from last night.

Punched in the Cunt

yes, it actually happened. I got punched in the cunt. And it sucked, OMG, like the worst thing ever. I can't even tell you the wash of emotions that came over me, as the tears flooded down my face. It was an accident, I'm going to try not to hold a grudge, but holy fuck it hurt. Now I can say I have truly lived, I may have never been punched in the face, but I got it in the cunt.

Other than that, I'm finalizing packing for my trip, well....thinking about it. I really want to go to a movie but have no one to go with. I am feeling so unmotivated today, I'm blaming it on the cunt punching.

Packing

I have been super busy getting ready for my trip to Nice. It is amazing how much work it takes to go on vacation. I am leaving my show in the hands of Aliana Love, as she has never done a show as my co-host I am more than a little nervous. She's a beautiful and talented young woman and I hope her hands are as capable as I think they are.

Things have been a little slow and stressful at Grind HQ, not working always gets me down. My search for a new agent has been fruitless, currently I'm stuck with one who doesn't live up to her promises and won't return email. Very disappointing.

Well I'll get back to packing, I hope to post some pictures from the road if my computer will cooperate.

Bon Voyage!

Erik Everhard

I apologize for the the lack of posts, i haven't been feeling like writing, however if you want to see me  and Aliana Love live actions tune into PrimeTimeUncensored.com tonight to watch us interview Erik Everhard. It should be awesome, because I find both of them very sexy.